wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
