I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
