So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
