good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
