I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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