hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
