She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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