Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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