; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
