sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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