ugly people sure do ruin things
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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