i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Duck Duck Cougar?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
