do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize