That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
