he was CRYING into my vagina
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i believe in u and ur pee
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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