I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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