I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
is that a dick in a sweater?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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