how can u be prego again
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
