Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
