My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
