who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
