Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm determined to sit on that face.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
