so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
