You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
