Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
