The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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