PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
