dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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