I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
