Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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