hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
