somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
