My room smells like vodka and shame
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
