absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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