arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
