I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
