i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
