no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize