I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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