We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
