You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
