I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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