those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize