I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
