I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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