did you get engaged???
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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