It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
