is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
