I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's always time for handjobs
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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