someone get that fucking seahorse.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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