Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
