well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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