The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
