Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
