he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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