Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
