spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
