I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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