We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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