your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
