I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
